Insanely Crafty Ways To Make Your Kids Rich

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Tired of finding the same old rubbish ways of making your kids rich? I know it’s not easy getting serious advice. I trawled the web and all I could find were the same old tired ‘save money, invest in stocks and shares’ pieces of generic advice kicking round.

I’ve decided it’s time to kick the boring bits of advice into the long grass and come up with some tongue in cheek ways that you can use to help you make some serious cash for your kids.

Invest in Pigs

pig manure used to make crude oil

Before you start squealing in horror, I’m not suggesting our little pink friends are going to end up between two slices of bread! You may or may not know it but there’s a growing clamour for green vehicles but the problem is that some of the technologies are still expensive. Did you know that it’s now possible to make crude oil from pig manure? Pig poo will save the day!

Alternative energy manufacturers are looking for guaranteed cheap ways to make bio-fuel which means that pigs will be the new gold rush!

Zombie Chic for Undead Clients


If you didn’t already know, the end of humanity is coming. 90% of the world’s population will end up as mindless automatons keen on sucking you dry (a bit like the bankers but with more morals). This emerging market is ripe for the picking and the sooner you get your foot in the door the more likely your little entrepreneur is to, ahem, make a killing.

This should be a pretty easy market to make some money in: rotting meat pies and torn jeans/bloody t-shirt combo’s will be all the rage.

Selling Ice to Eskimoes

I know, it’s a tired old joke but the way things are going it will soon be a reality. Global warming is slowly melting the ice caps (unless you’re a conspiracy theorist, in which case, global warming doesn’t exist). Melting ice caps means that many Eskimo’s will soon be homeless.

Now is the time to invest in a couple of thousand ice cube makers!

Tin Foil Hat Manufacturing

tin foil hat defeats alient invaders

Apparently, Scientology is one of the fastest growing religions in the world. But how does that help your little entrepreneur make money? Simple; as the number of Scientologists grow then the number of tin-foil hat wearing conspiracy theorists grows as well. You’ll have queues of alient dodging nuts beating a path to your doorstep faster than you can say ‘L Ron Hubbard’.

If the tin foil hats fail to take off in a big way you can supply them as lids to the meals on wheels industry that will need to cater for the ever growing population of pensioners.

Become a Banker

Yes, I know there are plenty of bankers out there making a lot of money. It’s a cut throat industry; hard to get into and even harder to get out with being tainted with poo-like smell of dodgy deals and interest rate fixing! So why am I recommending this path for your little cherub? Because, at the rate new banking scams are being uncovered, there soon won’t be many bankers left – they’ll all have been lynched.

If they don’t get into banking they can always go and work for the FSA (I use the word ‘work’ loosely as the regulator seems to have done little regulation at all).

Invent A Rubbish Toy

cabbage patch kids

You think I’m joking? Look at some of the rubbish that made people seriously rich over the years. Cabbage Patch Dolls, Zhu Zhu Hamsters and the Tele Tubbies to name but a few. Kids minds are fertile grounds for the kind of creative processes that go into inventing toys and gadgets that sell like hot cakes.

Fortunately, Iggle Piggle has been done and consigned to the dustbin of history!

Got any more ideas? Let me know if the comments section below and, whilst you’re here, why not like this post of Facebook or Retweet?


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