Did Crazed Bird Watchers Steal My TV and Frozen Chicken?

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Forget feeding the pigeons in the park. A trail of breadcrumbs could have a devastating effect.

Are Burglars Going To Rob Your TV and Your Sunday Lunch?

Whilst it’s fairly easy to forget the economic gloom and immerse yourself in an orgy of credit card-fueled shopping never forget that beady eyes are watching. Not the eyes of your feathered friends but those of burglars!

On average, a burglary costs about £3,400. The emotional trauma is bad enough but, to add insult to injury, the insurance companies will raise your insurance premium. It’s a little being arrested because you’ve just been beaten up by muggers!

Unless you lock yourself away in Fort Knox, it’s hard to escape the fact that 1 in 6 of us will be burgled during our life time.

It’s time to get more savvy than the burglars and save yourself a little money on your insurance premium. Do any of these scenarios below remind you of anyone?

Illuminating Your Empty Boxes With A Battle of Britain-sized Searchlight

You’ve been into town and bought that 40 inch Plasma TV you’ve been after for ages. The following 20 minutes of driving would be worthy of a scene from The Italian Job. Staggering under the weight, you kick the front door open. Flash forward 2 hours…

Your pride and joy is now set up and ready to go. The list of invitations to watch the football match went out days ago. You’ve forgotten the Doritos. No problem. It’s only a ten minute trip to the shop. You’ll be back in 30 minutes which gives you plenty of time before the guests arrive. Cue yet more driving insanity!

30 minutes later and you’re home but there’s a problem. The front door is hanging off the hinges. A lump forms in your throat. The trail of wood fragments and boot prints can only mean one thing: you’ve been burgled.

What was your big mistake? It’s simple. Where did you put the box once you’d unpacked your television? In the garden, by the bin. Capital “L”!

Watching Your Underwear Drift Away On A Gentle Breeze

Nothing beats a cool breeze of Spring-time fresh air gently blowing through your home. The dark, stuffy winter days are gone. Like the smell of clothes dried on a washing line, if simply feels right.

It’ll be fine if you pop out for an hour or so and leave the windows open. After all, you have plenty of neighbours. Nobody would burgle you in such a short space of time, right?

Imagine your surprise when you arrive home and find that burglars had different ideas. Broken window frames and the fact that your underwear drawer has been rifled make you feel doubly dirty.

To top it all off, they even nicked that bottle of wine you were going to drink this evening.

Is Your Home Smart Enough To Be Burgled?

Building an extension for your home can be exciting experience. Your family might be expanding or it may simply be a case that you want more room You’ve invested 6 months and an awful lot of hard earned cash to make your dreams come true.

The finish line is in sight. All that needs to be done is to remove the temporary doors to your house and replace them with something more substantial.

Sadly, your supplier is out of stock but the doors will be there in a couple of days. It’s not really that long to wait and you already have some protection from the elements.

Tucked up snug in your bed, mental images of the grand unveiling lull you to sleep…. for about four hours. Those temporary doors kept out the wind and the rain but they didn’t keep out the burglars.

King Of The Hill Is A Play Ground Game

You’ve got the latest iMac, your MacBook is tucked down the side of the sofa and your iPad is charging in the kitchen. Truly, you are a child of Apples fabulous marketing machine.

You already know that leaving valuables in sight is a big no-no. But there hasn’t been a reported break-in around here for years. It’s a nice area. People ‘like that’ don’t come to your little patch of Utopia

They might not have bothered ten years ago but you’re about to find out that the age technology does have it’s problem.

A brick through the window and 10 seconds later your iPad is gone and it wasn’t even locked!

Simon Says Rob Me Blind!

Routine and processes are key to an efficient life or so we’re told.

Every Wednesday, you head to back to take our your weekly house keeping money. You use the same cashpoint because it’s only a 30 second walk from the car park Each time you visit the bank you withdraw £250.

Your journey home follows the same pattern. You walk through the front door into the kitchen and drop your money into a small cash box tucked in a cupboard, behind the pasta and rice basket. Absolutely foolproof. Who would ever think of searching in there for money?

Burglars do and it’s not because they’re psychic. Many of them do have a great deal of experience in the art of theft but some are more savvy. All they need to do is follow you.

The Gentle Caress Of Your Dream Date Will End In Tears

Guys, you know how it is. You’re sat in a restaurant with Kyle Minogue. She hangs on every word you say. She blushes and giggles at your risqué jokes. Every time she leans forward you glance momentarily down at the soft swell of her breasts.

With a mischievous look in her eyes, Kylie leans forward, her mouth presses closes to your ear and as her momentarily makes contact as she opens her mouth…. and begins to wail in alternating high pitched tones. The dream is over. Your burglar alarm has gone off – again.

Bleary eyed, you roam the house looking for signs of a break in. Nothing. That’s the third time this month that this has happened. Against your, and Kylie’s better judgement, you decide it’s not worth another night of broken sleep. You deactivate your alarm system. Now you can find out what your admiring starlet was going to say.

Whilst you’re enjoying your dreams the burglars are helping themselves to your DVD player and your secret stash of Kylie memorabilia.

N.B. Kylie is mine! Insert your actress, or actor, of choice.

Ways To Protect Yourself

Enough of the doom and gloom. Most of the time, it’s pretty easy to prevent your home becoming a magnet to burglars. Here are a few ideas to help keep your TV in the living room and your frozen chicken in the freezer:

  1. Don’t leave boxes by the bin. Rip them up, shred them or take them to the local dump.
  2. Close your windows even if you’re only out of your home for a short period of time.
  3. Fit all your doors with decent dead locks.
  4. Protect your identity and shred every bit of personal documentation and, for good measure, burn the waste.
  5. Have a burglar alarm fitted even if it is a dummy model.
  6. Have bars fitted on windows.
  7. Mark everything with invisible security pens which will help in recovering stolen goods.
  8. Reinforce or completely block off parts of your home that may be undergoing renovation work that allows easy access.
  9. Lock your garden tools away in the shed to stop them being used to force weak doors or smash windows.
  10. Don’t leave house keys on a cupboard or dresser near the letterbox.
  11. Fit a grill to your letter box.
  12. If you’re going away for more than a few days cancel regular deliveries such as milk.
  13. If you’re on holiday ask friends to park a second car on your drive way.
  14. Fit security lights over doorways and in dark recesses.
  15. Liberally scatter land mines round your garden.
  16. Join or start a ‘curtain twitchers’ group aka Neighbourhood Watch and advertise the fact.

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