What are the craziest insurance policies you’ve ever seen? Bet they’re not as bonkers as these….
At some point in our lives, fate or Mother Nature likes to bowl us a left handed spinner that does a pretty good job of taking our legs out from underneath us. Fortunately, we have insurance salesmen that can deal with just about any eventuality and I really do mean any eventuality. Wether you’ve been lined up for immaculate conception or having ghosts help you shed your mortal coil there’s an insurance policy with your name on it.
Without further ado, here’s our list of the 5 craziest insurance policies to be inflicted on humanity:
Alien Abduction Insurance
Picture the scene: one moment you’re skipping through the hay on a warm summers day. The next, you’ve been abducted by three-eyed monstrosities from Uranus and they’re attempting to insert large medical instruments into a similar sounding region!
Amazingly, some worried individuals (mainly Californians) were prperared to part with some serious money in order to compensate against the horrors a rectal probing. It has been suggested ET-phobic Americans parted with a sum in excess of £2.7 million pounds. Not a bad haul for simply preying on the fears of the misguided (we all know ET has no interest in your backside).
Immaculate Conception Insurance
Birth control methods have been around for thousands of years. How effective were they? By all accounts, they seem to have done a pretty good job. But if God comes knocking then all bets are off.
It might seem ludicrous to some, but the thought of “conceiving immaculately” really does worry some people. In the case of three nuns in Scotland, they were so worried that they took out insurance to the tune of £1 million. Now, considering the cost of raising a child from birth to the age of 21 is about £216,000 this sum seems a little excessive. In fact, the insurance policy didn’t go down well with the Catholic Church and the cover was withdrawn shortly after being issued.
Insurance Against Spooks
Spook insurance is real but it doesn’t cover you for ‘accidental’ extraordinary rendition. It’s designed to pay out should you be attacked by thing’s that go bump in the night, for trauma received during a flour bombing by a malicious poltergeist and injury incurred by hungry zombies. Actually, read that as ‘death by zombification’: if you’re bitten you’re a goner.
The actual details of the insurance covers you for general injuries caused at “hands of ghosts”. I know, ghosts don’t have hands – they’re made of ectoplasm but that’s a quote straight from the policy – don’t shoot the messenger. If you find yourself turned into a vampire or transforming into a werewolf you can claim £1 million. Great idea but I’m not sure what you can do with the money once you’re dead!
Insurance For Chest Rugs
You aren’t known for you looks but you can belt out some classic tunes in your deep Welsh tones. Apart from your cash generating vocal chords you’re also know for a chest rug that would put a caveman to shame. But what are the chances that your world would crashing down if your chest hair was singed in a chip pan fire? If the risk is high then you need to take a leaf out of Tom Joneses hairy book and insure that chest rug up to the follicles!
It’s not unusual to want to take care of your body and insurance policies for bits that can fall out or fall off are not uncommon. But how much are those bits really worth? Well, if you’re Tom Jones’ aging follicles, you’re covered for $7 million. Yeah, my jaw almost hit the floor as well but we are talking about a man who used to epitomise sex appeal. I mean, really, how much do chest hair implants cost nowadays? Surely it can’t be $7 million?
‘My dog has no nose’
‘Really? How does it smell?’
I’m sorry. I couldn’t resist it. Hold on a moment! What if you had no sense of smell? How would you ever know if your dog needed a bath? More to the point, how would you know if you needed a bath? Think how pointless the ‘fart game’ would become if you could no longer smell. And heaven help you if you were denied the simple joy of entertaining friends and family with a flatulent rendition of the Jaws theme tune!
In the unlikely event that you lose both your nose and your sense of smell in an unfortunate boating accident you will have a not insignificant sum of money to fall back on. Think this is bonkers? It’s not. Worried about the potential loss of his sense of smell, a Dutch winemaker insured his nose through Lloyds of London. Some of the stranger clauses in the policy include using only experienced barbers who are able to keep a steady hand when shaving near the nose.
Alien photo – http://www.flickr.com/photos/x-ray_delta_one/